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Jul 17, 2010, 11:07 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WePow
This keeps sticking at me... I keep thinking about it. And that is why I will not tell him about it... there is something very deep there. Something about telling someone when they hurt me and then that is like giving them weapons to use against me again. That if they know that something they did or how I interpreted an action "got" to me, that they will use it in the future to harm me intentionally. I am not sure when I learned that lesson or how. But I know that lesson is very deep. The more something hurts me, the more I will hide it from that person. I remember when I was a teen being in agony around "friends" and laughing it up and pretending I was having the time of my life. I remember doing all I could do to make darn sure they NEVER found out about my pain. Interesting.
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I don't know why but this was like a kick in the gut to me. It is SOOO true. Strength is never showing weakness or needs or wants. But it ends up hurting us in the end. We end up isolated and hurt and feeling desperate.
I remember falling down and cutting my knee in kindergarten. I did everything I knew how to hide the injury from the teacher. (For no good reason) I do know the feeling of embarrassment was the worst feeling ever...worse than all the pain in the world. It IS a very deep, maybe preverbal thing...but it's so strong, almost ingrained in me from birth.
(((wepow))) I know...I understand and I'll sit with you.
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