I will never figure this brain out. Not ever. I've been in the most... spaced out, weird, depressed... just... WTH space lately. And have been... in it. Like nowhere in a sense, because nothing much was going through, not even the usual ruminations. (See other posts for a better explanation). Motivation: zippo. But I'd fairly recently had an idea for another piece (I've got a mixed media series about bipolar... you know, compelled to make them, even if it's only for me... also compelled to share, but it must be the right time/situation...) Anyway... tonight I've been getting bits out and starting to mess around and alternating with trancing and "seeing" it in greater detail. Hence the first time I've used the "inspired" mood thing here. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring, but... what? Like my brain needed to give up, lose even desperation, go to nowhere, to what??? Go here? No complaints though, it's a place where I AM, totally me, the only place where I really know where I am, even when I don't. I KNOW where I am, even if I can't describe it. This is MY place. It's better than words.... I hope it holds. Not... happy even... just... gah it's hard to describe. Because I am soooo ready to just shut the rest of reality (whatever that is) out and say **** it. I'm over here now. And staying over here as long as it holds. Damn the consequences. At the very least I can exist on my own terms for awhile. Doesn't *feel* hypomanic, but who knows where this is going. Who knows where this brain will be tomorrow. It's been too long from this space.

Back to it. Just had to share something positive for a change, even if it turns out to be fleeting.