My mind is not in a clear state, but hear me out.

My husband and I just had a huge fight and during it I started to think some thoughts that I have thought in the past. The thoughts that I need to set him free. This relationship is not healthy for either of us anymore, he's not happy, I'm not happy, all I do is bring him down with me.

We have been married for 5 years but dating for nearly 10 years - August 1st will be our 10th anniversary of our 1st date. But for those 5 years we dated before we got married, when we were "living in sin" and all that - I kept wishing and hoping that he would pop the question, but any time the marriage subject came up, he freaked out and changed the subject.

I proposed to him. Yes, that's right. Me. And he didn't say yes right away. It wasn't until I told him I was pregnant, and even then he didn't really agree to marry me, but about a week later he finally got me a ring and made things official.

I need to face it. He never wanted to marry me. And the only reason he married me was because I was pregnant, and the only reason he's still married to me is for that child's sake so she has two parents.

I've gained over 100 pounds since we met. Sent us into financial distress. Two years ago he had $80,000 cash in the bank - we now have $72,000 in debt (plus some land that we paid cash for...long story how it all happened) I went crazy, and every time I do something crazy it just brings him down with me. He can't handle this anymore.

And the absolute worst part of all - during my manic epsisodes - which does NOT excuse this in any way - I cheated on him, multiple times. One string was a definite manic episode but then there was one that turned into a 6 month affair that I'm not sure you can call "impulsive" but whatever it was, the results of it are what triggered the horrible summer with three suicide attempts and multiple hospitalizations. I was not well.

He deserves so much more. I love him enough that I want him to be happy, even if that means without me. If we live apart, I can only mess up my life, not his. I can only mess up my finances, not his. I can only mess up my house, not his. The only thing we would work together on is our child and we both have her best interest at heart.

The relationship has been officially "sexless" by the technical definition for the last 8 years. Meaning that we only really had sex for the first 2 years we were together, then it died - we still had sex occasionally but less than 10 times a year (often less than 2 or 3 times a year). Right now, he hasn't touched me since Christmas.

There is no romantic spark left whatsoever, even outside the bedroom. No teasing, flirting, anything. We are not in love anymore.

Yet at the same time, how did we make it 10 years if there wasn't something there? And there is a child involved, so I don't want to just let things fall apart if there is no hope.

We have done marriage counseling. It didn't help, and it's too expensive. We went to three different counselors, actually.

He won't read marriage books. He has ADHD and he just doesn't like to read.

At what point do you just say "enough" and move on?