Talk to Tony. It's not good to guess what another is thinking and feeling. What you want is just as important as what he wants but, being married, you should have communication going and help one another with each person's desires and problems?

Do you have a therapist, Roxy? I feel badly that you have just shut down your physical side because of what happened to you as a child. You don't have to feel bad, can find some healing if you want so giving to Tony isn't as upsetting for you. Every person and couple is different; whether there's more or less sex can have a lot to do with the relationship between the two people; there is no "normal".