((((((( eskielover ))))))) Thank you tons for sharing this with me. Wow. I thought I was the only one who slapped herself or punched herself. Well, I knew I wasn't but you know how you think you are sometimes. And I am so glad you worked to help that little girl. Wow. I remember starting that when I was about 6 or so... I would be abused on the way walking home from school and two teen bullie boys would sometimes catch me and you can guess from there what I endured. I remember telling my teacher I was afraid of walking home on some days when I could see them lurking around and waiting for me. But my teacher told me I was making up stories and that little girls who make up stories like that should be slapped. Odd... I never rememberd that part until you said what you did about that little girl. I knew they didn't believe me but that part was missing. Anyway, I remember after finally making it home that I would be literally in shock and would slap myself telling myself to "snap out of it" ... in fact, as I am typing this, I have an odd deep memory of that actually happening to me from that teacher who called me a liar when I was crying about it. I was in 1st or 2nd grade. uggg. I remember thinking that if I slapped myself hard enough that it would mean that what just happened to me wasn't real.

Later on, I could not stand anyone touching me in the face. It just sets off the high trigger for me. But if I get too upset with myself about things, that is the first form of self harm I will turn too. In fact, I did it so much as a coping thing that I honestly didn't even consider it to be self harm until I read about it here on PC.

I try very hard now to not do any of that. But wow. Your post is helping me see what the root of that may have been. Thank you!