I hear you, ellie. It's true -- therapy softens you. It doesn't make you tougher. But in the softness it gives you, there is a different kind of strength.

I lived in FL through the hurricanes in 2004 that ravaged our state. Three of the four hurricanes in FL that year passed through my town. My parents own three beautiful acres of land, and that land had so many beautiful trees: live oaks, pines, palm trees.. And so many of them fell after those three hurricanes. But none of the trees that fell were palm trees.

Palm trees are well-suited for storms. You might not think it at first. When you look at a big, powerful oak tree and a puny palm tree, you'd think the big, tough oak tree would be more likely to weather the storm. But the inflexible, powerful trees are the first to fall. The ones that are left standing are the ones who can bend to the wind. Palm trees survive because of their flexibility.

It's very uncomfortable to learn to be flexible. At first you feel weak and puny and you think, why am I giving up my defenses? But this is why: your defenses break when the storms rage in your life. Learning this flexibility will prepare you to bend with the wind.