You should definitely be talking to a therapist about this. I was raped and am currently have been with my partner for 3 years and can not have sex with him or do anything sexual. Luckily he is happy to wait for me to be happy with sex although we don't know how long that will take and it is very difficult to get him to understand how i feel. I don't think having sex at all is a good idea if you don't enjoy it and have been abused in the past. You don't enjoy anything about sex not just the foreplay, is that right? If that's the case then I don't think you should be doing anything. Then you can work to build up the trust and begin to recover from what you have been through.

Are you affectionate with each other? Do you cuddle or play fight? These are non-sexual things that help me and my boyfriend to feel closer and me to trust him more. You should tell him everything you feel about sex and how you feel when you are having sex, and how he can help you.

I hope this helps. I'm really sorry that you have had to deal with this for such a long time.

x