Quote:
Originally Posted by StarryNight
You have said exactly how I feel and think most of the time. I know from a school nurse telling me that I have a 140 IQ, and numerous self-tests since then have confirmed it. I was in honor society all throughout school, and in college, where I got an associate's degree in liberal arts. The problem is, I dropped out and went back 3 times just to get that. I have no focus, and my emotional rollercoaster and avoidance of people and social situations has ruined my life and wasted all of my potential.
So, am I conceited? Sometimes, about my intelligence, yes. The fact that the average IQ is 100 is frightening to me, and dealing with people on a daily basis is frustrating and annoying. The funny thing is, I don't have any social problems when I run into people who think like me and are intelligent enough to have a philosophical conversation with. Then, interaction just naturally flows. But, with 90% of people, I feel like I'm an alien. On one hand, I know I'm smarter than them, but on the other, I feel completely inferior because I'm not "normal." I am very self-conscious about my looks, and I feel like I don't fit anywhere. So, I guess those feelings of inferiority balance out my conceit about my intelligence, so I don't too often come off as being a jerk. I guess I would be considered conceited, if I didn't feel so completely disfunctional.
I seem to have intelligence radar. I can usually tell within 5 minutes of talking to someone whether or not they "get it," and if I can relate to them or not. It's funny; most of the people I've met who are bipolar are "my kind" of people. Most of the people I've heard from in the forums seem really intelligent and insightful. Are insanity and intelligence co-occuring conditions? Does intelligence cause emotional instability? I don't know, but I think more studies should be done on it.
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My IQ is the same. And I also sometimes feel conceited about my intellect (and then very guilty for feeling that way and then I feel worthless for it as well). And my parents used my IQ to shove the point down my throat that so much more was expected of me etc. And now look? I'm just a thing. A smart thing, but still just a thing.
I too think that the guilt and feelings of self loathing that come along with my sometimes feeling superior to others in the intellect department balance each other out.
And that intelligence radar thing? Yeah, me too. And again, it makes me feel terrible, like I'm so judgmental. But it's not that I'm judgmental; it's that I have a need to know how patient I will have to be with someone and I also get very very VERY frustrated when people don't "get" things.
But my social intelligence? Zero. I'm well-educated, collecting degrees left and right, extremely book learned, can teach myself anything (but really cannot understand why things are generally taught the way they are in schools--it seems stupid to me and made too complicated, like languages, for example--I have taught myself several languages to the point of fluency and in relatively short periods of time, but I struggled though language classes in college because of the stupid way they dole out bits and pieces of info and then later modify it so they can dole out the next bit--it's retarded!! And counterproductive), and LOVE learning about pretty much anything. I can recall full pages of text as a visual image in my head, so that makes me a good tester. But social intelligence? I'm completely inept. I don't know when it's my turn to speak, I don't understand most social cues (although I am getting better, but I'm also getting more and more withdrawn and shy, so it doesn't much matter), and I cannot strike up or maintain relationships with anyone in person. And then there's the newest thing: emotional intelligence. I think I have that one in the bag--I'm deeply compassionate, am very empathetic, am a nurturer, etc., but what use is it if I cannot handle a basic interaction with a cashier without excessive anxiety or a panic attack?
Intelligence is a multifaceted topic, I guess. Intellectual, social, and emotional intelligence are what comprise a whole intellect in a person. So I honestly cannot say if I think I'm more or less intelligent than any other person. I can say this though: in day to day life I find that most people annoy the crap out of me and I think they are almost all morons. Maybe it's not that I'm so smart or think I'm so smart. Maybe I'm just totally average. Maybe everyone else is just dumb.
Also, the idea that the average IQ is 100 is terrifying. It truly is. And if that sounds snotty or snide, so be it.