Quote:
Originally Posted by FireBird
I started to have problems around 12-13 years old during middle school. I was severely bullied at that time and the stress was extreme and I had my first breakdown. I had to be in the hospital for the first time for psychosis, anxiety and suicidal depression. I heard and saw things that weren't there. I also had delusions that people were going to kill me. After I got out of the stressful situation, the symptoms died as most of my episodes are caused from stress. My symptoms were almost non existent for several years and then it started getting more severe again after I graduated college probably because our financial situation has been deteriorating and my mom's health as well and on top of that the uncertainty of what will happen in our lives. I was and still afraid and scared that either my mom is going to die an early death (I really hope she dies of old age instead of the very near future which would put me in an extreme psychotic breakdown or death) or we would end up on the streets talking to rats. As I get older (I am 27 right now) my so called "delusions" as the doctor says are getting weirder than when I was young. When I was young during my first breakdown my delusions were simply that bullies were going to kill me and burn down my house or something to that effect. Now it is mainly about the government and aliens but I won't get into that here. Back during my first breakdown I didn't understand psychology so it was outsiders (I don't remember the details because it happened a long time ago) that told me that I wasn't normal but now I realize that I have problems. I don't really agree with the psychosis label they put on me even though I get grandiose delusions but I enjoy thinking I am making hundreds of millions of dollars! I am an artist and during my mania I think my art will change the world and I am the most famous artist in the world. Now I know a lot about psychology and I realize that I have had thoughts such as the ones mentioned that are not based in reality even though I would love the grandiose ones to come true. My auditory hallucinations are like yours, very minor. Hallucinations are not my main problem. I just hear my name being called a lot, very rarely a conversation going on when there are none happening, and random sounds. For hallucinations I actually get the visuals but that is technically rare in a psychotic disorder. The docs mainly diagnosed it because of delusions. 15 is pretty young for a schizophrenic disorder to start. Even though I got mine when I was young most people don't get it until their late teens or early 20's. I am a woman and they even get it later, in their late 20's. If your hallucinations only occur a few times a month that isn't as bad as some schizophrenics that get them all day long and very clear voices talking to them. Have you had any delusions? A few hallucinations a month usually are not enough to be diagnosed with schizophrenia unless you have delusions or some other symptoms at the same time. Minor hallucinations can happen during times of stress. You do seem higher risk for a psychotic disorder though because it runs in your family.
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i am sorry you have been through so much.
I hate when i think someone is calling me. i always answer and my mom is like "i didn't call you".
I think the closest thing I have had to a delusion happened in church.(at least that I can think of right now) .
I daydreaming and ended up freaking out because I was convinced that everyone around me could see my thoughts (like a television), so I let my mind go blank and just stared ahead.
and yeah. It doesn't help that I grew up around it either. i never knew my dad was sick until a year ago. i thought all the things he did were normal.
(talking to himself...in full conversations. paranoia...he was always screaming at me to get out of the street when I was on the sidewalk... stuff like that. )