I think friends can replace family and you can choose your friends. See people do choose me to be their friend but that does not mean I choose them to be my friend. I can choose to accept them as my friend ot reject them as my friends. So those that I am friends with I HAVE chosen. They have not been forced on me.

I too am from an abusive family. Biologically we are stuck with what we get but emotionally just like chosing my friends I now have a non abusive family. Those in that non abusive family are members of my friends who have gone through thick and thin with and for me and my son. They accept us the way we are and are there for me in good times and the bad. My son has been raised calling these people Aunts and Uncles (yes he does know they are not blood related but they are still considered family because they love and care for us and we love and care for them, In fact he has over the years added to our list of family members by asking to include those he grew to love and care for and they him. I will always remember when one night after knowing a bus driver for 6 years he asked me if he can call "Vicki" Aunt Vicki. I told him it was ok with me and he would need to ask "Vicki" if she wanted to be a part of our family. The next day we boarded the city bus and he looked at "Vicki" and said "Can I call you Aunt Vicki?" "Vicki" got tears in her eyes, shut the bus off right there and gave him a hug saying "I would be proud and honored to be your Aunt Vicki" and she was one of the best Aunts he could possibly have and ask for to her death last spring. When I was in college I gained a friend. From day one her foster family aqccepted me into their lives and I accepted them. They became family and have been there and still are for both my son and I have been there and still am for them. I don't know what I would have ever done with out my friends and new family that has since grown to include well over 60 very special people. and yes they most definately help in the healing process.