I really think the best thing for you would to call your therapist and tell the truth. I know you don't want to go to the hospital but maybe you guys could try talking first??? Chrise as hard as it is to stop, you can't do it on your own. If you truely want help and want the merry-go-round to stop then you have to tell your therapist. Its gonna be hard but in the long run you'll be happy you did what you did. Good luck.