rainbow, I am proud of you that you're willing to do this and talk about it -- you are brave. It's totally understandable that you feel anxious about this.

I don't think anything is "wrong" with you that therapy causes you to have sexual feelings. I think when you and T explore this, she'll tell you the same thing. Maybe you can still explore the reasons behind it.

If I were you, I wouldn't prepare too much for this session. Instead, I would try to do fun things and not dwell on what we might talk about, if at all possible. Allowing this session to happen naturally -- and for you to speak ONLY if you're ready -- sounds like the best way to be totally authentic with her when you do see her. Preparing too much might cause you to "rehearse" your responses, and you don't want to do that..

(((rainbow)))