LivingMiracle, I love that you posted AND asked for feedback. What I hear you say is that you're tired of doing this alone all during drama sessions. You are to be commended.

Take the next step and find someone you can trust enough to open up to - a pdoc or T who listens and asks you if this is the path you'd like to take for your treatment plan. So, talk, meds, middle ground and restfulness go hand in hand. Give yourself a chance.