Hello Phil,

It's disgusting to think that someone would encourage you to snoop on your wifes phone records etc...urging you to dishonesty is not a good way to deal with your situation.

And while you are in such a vulnerable position please do not allow yourself to be cornered and caught in a religious net which is intent on witnessing to you and making sure you become religious yourself by making you reliant on church and religion.

I am really sad for you, and the way your wife left is not kind or considerate, that is for sure. In my opinion, I believe she is not having contact not because she wants to have no responsibility, but because she is feeling a lot of guilt about the way she has left. And she would know that her children don't really wan't to be talking to her at the moment.

I would also be surprised if she doesn't make overtures to reconcile, as people who leave this way are not thinking rationally when the make the decision. She will in time, return her thoughts to what she has left behind, what she has effectively lost. If this does happen, it is up to you alone to decide if you want her back.

As you pointed out it appears to be a mid life crisis; it is normally men who up and leave this way, dye their hair and buy a sports car...chase younger women etc...

I hope you know that you can rely on us here to support you from a position of the simple desire to help, not to try to make you turn to religion to make everything better,

RHiannon