Hi,

I am a rapid cycler Bi Polar who became addicted to cocain to self medicate. I have years of recovery and then fustratingly will relasp and have to get back in recovery. I am not a "party" person, in fact quite the opposite. I have no problem with any other drug or alchol. It's really scaring me because after a ten year period with no drug use and stable on my meds, it will be triggered and it's hell to get back, not to mention the damage I do to my life in the process. I almost died getting back and I was doing really well for a year and 1/2 now, really happy and healthy and recently relasped. At present I am back in my recovery meetings and waiting for the meds to get back to normal, but it scares me that I will never get past this pattern. I know from my support system that if I stay close I have a good chance of stablizing but I get so discoraged working so hard and seemly for no reason will ruin everything I decided to join this because there are not many duel diagnosis meetings in my area and I can't share about my Bi Polar in my meetings. Feeling alone can anyone relate?