Makes sense hey, to someone rational, and I know you mean well, really I do. Don't mean to throw your kind words back in your face, but right now my brain can't process that. I still feel doomed to wonder inside my illness alone, until it consumes me. I don't feel that bf / anyone REALLY cares or understands. Unfair, yeah probably, but that's my reality right now. I hate the isolation, I hate that I'm SO needy, and CAN'T reach out to a single person in my life, even if it's just for a much needed hug...

I feel trapped inside my mind, and I hate it, I want it to swallow me or spit me out, the waiting is killing me slowly, piece by piece, bit by bit...