I hear you - but you need to lean on someone. Confide in someone. And bf sounds your best bet.
Ask him to phone pdoc for you?
I know the feeling of not wanting to do anything yourself, not wanting to be responsible...
But the truth is that we do need to take charge. If we cannot do that, we need to hand responsibility over to someone else.
If we cannot do that, we ought to go to casualty and be booked in, as it makes us a hinderance and danger to ourselves (We will never know the limit as to us giving up our responsibilities, and that can be dangerous)
I know this sounds harsh - I just know i've been there and while I'm not there right now, I can look back in a logical way and give you advice on how to deal with it.