granite, I want to give you some hope that if I can be so open with my T, you can too! Honestly, I went to therapy for the first time thinking it was going to be like an advice column. I'd ask a question and she'd answer. End of therapy. Except I sat there not saying anything, waiting for T to talk. It was like pulling teeth for me. I'd sit in silence for many sessions, like you. At least when it came to important stuff. I know I talked about my day and easy things like that.

It took a few years to open up, and then it was still so difficult. During my growing up years, and young adulthood, I never, ever imagined that I would talk to a T. Never!!!!! But with each new T, it became easier. Everything I couldn't talk to with anyone else, demanded to be said. I couldn't tell my mother things, and now I wanted to tell my Ts EVERYTHING. From one extreme to another. I now have the urge to tell all though I really don't know why. It feels like such a relief to be honest and open with my T. The words still come out slowly, and mixed up. I'm so much clearer in my emails to T, but the words do come out. This is from someone who was so shy as a child! I'm making up for then.

It's almost like I don't feel I can take the credit for being so open because I feel a compulsion to be that way now. I don't know if that makes sense.

Don't give up, granite.