I know how you feel, I too was an "oops" baby and illegal substances were involved, but my mom never regretted having me and I'm sure your mother doesn't regret having you. I feel sick every day because I can't get a job. I don't have any friends either, but I've always been a loner and I'm used to it. I'm so sorry about your pain, please try other meds, maybe you haven't found what works for you yet.