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Old Jul 19, 2010, 02:05 PM
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anderson anderson is offline
Grand Poohbah
 
Member Since: Oct 2009
Location: getting use to my own skin again
Posts: 1,797
BOUNDER LOVER, OR HATER
This was a term giving to us this last week at T’s. We were trying to get her to understand that we have no problem telling others to leave us alone but in the last 3 years each time we did it one way or the other we had endure more abuse until it came to the point that we were to afraid to say anything because it would be used against us later.
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We still have some alters that do not have problems with keeping our bubble but we discovered something about us this past weekend. We had a safety issue in telling a person to leave the topic of our bio-family alone. In the end we just told her that sewer rats treat their children better then my bio-family. She changed the subject then but we were up all night with flash backs of how they had hurt us all those years ago.
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Then came our Sunday gathering. The woman that asked us to off our selves so nicely came up to us and started to doing her double talking. The Dalmatians have decided to call her Lies A Lot. We had a small debate and we just told her that everything that you pray for us come to you as well. Lies A Lot had the grace to turn white. The man that used to be able to hurt us because he had an alter afraid of him came in but this time our Angel was there so we had her sit with us and do EFT treatments with us. We started to turn a very ugly monster into an ameba. Yippy, One more going down. During this time these two tried everything to get us going but we be safe with angel and the other lighthouses present.
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The big thing that we learned is that we are less afraid of the friends of the people that have had alters under their control. We are still scared of them cause they prove they hurt us and enjoy it. But as the light houses prove that they keep them away from us we get stronger.
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The cool part is those people that had friends that hurt us in the past would only have to imply that they send the Dark Souls after us if we do not to what they want. Now we just look at them or just plan ignore them. Because they can not hurt us no more so they be getting louder. We are starting to wonder if they are not having psychotic break down. They be hitting the tables saying we be weeds and that we need to go out with the trash. The fact that they are finely acting out so publicly is awesome for the others are finely seeing these people true colors.
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Even the PH.D docs family showed up but we stayed next to our light houses and we be able to laugh and play. It was so good for us. The Dalmatians even went up to another one of the men and told him they call him Grumpy Papa Bear. He is playing and talking with us. His wife even gave us a cross stitch to do when we get the one we doing done.
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But the best thing is that more people are coming up to us. Knowing that we be different. In truth we have been switching so much there is no way to hide. Since we stopped trying to be just one voice those around us are starting to accept that we do not forget when not switching under the threat of more abuse. But alters do want to do their thing in their own voice and skills. This place is turning into the church that we attended with our foster family. Even then we switched a lot but as we healed we did not forget so much. We told the pastor for a body that came to church just to sit in a state of fear just to hear a sermon by a man that would not hurt us or allow us to be hurt by the dark souls within the group. We may feel at time like a rabbit to afraid to come out of it hole. But the fact that we have people that are willing to talk with us and keep us safe we have come a long way in a year.
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Sometimes the only way to find freedom is to fight for it, even unto death! Because no form of abuse transcends pass it! To live free and with hope is still the greatest gift of life!- anderson