I agree with what the others said. I wish you luck with your therapist.

I was also sexually abused twice, and I never saw a therapist. It took me years to be comfortable (i.e. not repulsed) when a guy did anything more than hold my hand, if even that. I didn't allow myself to shut away that part of myself, though, and kept thinking about it, kept analyzing myself, and ultimately, forgave the men who did what they did to me. That went a LONG way in helping me to finally be able to be unafraid in relationships. Now, none of what happened to me affects my relationships.

I think I might've gotten over it much more quickly if I'd had a therapist, though!

Definitely talk with your therapist, and...I don't know, when you're ready, perhaps you and Tony can see a sex therapist as well? It might be a combination of your past and just the fact that you don't prefer what your husband is doing, and if you figured out what you were comfortable with sexually...it might help...?

Best of luck!