Melbadaze...the timing of this post and the mention of people drowning and survivor's guilt kind of hit home with me.

I've been plagued recently with a vision or...IDK what to call it a daymare that my mind runs when I walk. Its a very detailed mental movie but it end with me looking out to sea after making it through a big storm. I see debris from a boat I was on scattered and dead bodies floating in the rough sea. I'm on the beach and realize I made it safely to shore but the people and boat I was on...didn't and somehow I know that the storm and their death was all because of me or something I did.

I never thought about this being survivor's guilt until you mentioned it here in this context.

When you think about your aging adoptive mother... Does a part of you think (maybe not logically or rationally) that you owe her something? Or if not for her...then you owe others in some way. Like as a survivor your expected to do SOMETHING profound or contribute to helping others survivor or positively affect the others in some way?

Just curious...where your thoughts lead you after you're walking away from your adoptive mother. ...In my daymare I drag myself off the beach to look for a free shower..LOL Not very profound...I know but the character is lost and has no leads on what she's supposed to do next.