Jexa, thanks. I really don't understand the "rules" here on PC about triggers or using "words" since people abbreviate "sa," for example.

BlackCanary, thanks. Um, I actually told this to a T years ago, because she kept telling me that feelings for her weren't sexual and I had to tell her she was wrong. She said it was "sensual", not "sexual." I told another T what I told the first one, and she said "hardly ANYONE would EVER tell their T something so graphic". So, I felt ashamed and had to tell my most recent T too. We didn't really discuss it, though. It was in the context of what it's okay to talk about in therapy.

I don't think my T is intuitive about it; I "sort of" told her already, but not really. I told her about the "other" T and my reaction. I didn't know that I would repeat this part of my pattern too. I think it's related to my other issues, and is about intimacy, love, closeness, and how I preceive them. It's not just about sex. So, I think this thread is helping me be less embarrassed, now that I think about it. It DOES bother me more because my T is female, and so am I.