chaotic, I guess I don't have any concrete images around this, just sometimes a feeling of no longer being stifled by my adoptive mother and the small me remembering how it use to be to have to almost knee in front of her why she chops my head off and now I realise I escaped that axe but part of me feelS I shouldn't have escaped that, now sheS left with no head to chop and Feel I shouldn't have done that...then I go to session and all is right in the world lol...bUt I don't feel I need do anything to compensate for that guilt, well not now.