I feel for you....I wonder what your husband has to say about this? To you and to them?

I think you have a great idea on doing volunteer work.....maybe have hubby come with and he can help too..Once they see he is behind you and you two will not take that %#@&#! maybe it will stop...and maybe not but you won't be spending anymore time at these crappy parties with their game of emotional abuse going on

AND you can feel good about helping someone on a holiday