Trippin - trust me; you do NOT need to be psychotic to go to hospital. Speak to your pdoc. The first time I started meds, I really was OK, but he insisted I go to hospital.

You are going through a VERY tough time with you BP at the moment, and it's not maintainable.
If your pdoc will not help, see your GP, or a new pdoc.
I'd usually be telling you to be patient, but you've been on these meds long enough to see an improvement. Please remind me what you are on?
Maybe time to take one of the Benzo's and allow yourself to calm down a bit?

You cannot run away from it, you need to tackle it head on: coping mechanisms, medication... And it can be beaten.
Don't pre-empt it coming, it may skip you altogether.

Glad you bf could take you for a drive last night.