sorry to hear you are in a bad place right now.
Maybe she's been really busy.
I also find myself apologising for not finding the words, but don't forget they are used to us reacting this way. It's our coping mechanism for when things get too much. They are there for us, to help us feel comfortable and to open up. They are used to repeating things over and over.

It doesn't make us a failure - we are having to find immense strength from inside ourselves to even address the issues we are dealing with and ask for help. More than a lot of people are prepared to do.

Hang in there