thanks you guys. I didn't sleep very well or much last night and it was nice to come here and read your replies.

It's so hard to not think that she purposely didn't call me back. Part of me is so sure that it's because she's disgusted or fed up or overwhelmed by my story. Part of me wants to believe it was just another phone screw up on her part, but mostly I feel like "see, this is what happens when you tell. SEE."

I guess if she doesn't call me back this morning I will call her at some point today and say "why didn't you return my call?". Part of the message I left her was confirming our appointment for next week since we didn't that at the end of my session yesterday like we usually do. So of course I'm also thinking this means she doesn't want to see me next week. I just really need to talk to her and make sure we are ok.

It's been so hard for me to trust her. It's the first time I've ever talked about this stuff. It makes me feel out of control and at loose ends and just...I don't know. Every bad thing.