I agree that if your BF isn't affected by his brother's feelings, then it isn't important in the grand scheme of things; at least as far as your relationship is concerned. I know how you feel though- it's hurtful and whether we like it or not, we'd all like to have harmonious relationships with the people who are important to the ones we love. I am polite to my my husband's mother and I give her no reason to dislike me but she does anyway. There's really nothing I can do about it so I try not to think about it. My husband and I have been together for 12 years and happy so really, isn't that what's important? If I could change things, I would but since I can't, I'm not going to stress myself out about it. If you and your BF are on good terms and happy, his brother may or may not come around. If he does, great, if not, it's his issue and not yours.