Ive had bipolar since I was 18 and I had my oldest son at 17. My parents helped me raise him during the years that I was in and out of jail in and in and out of the hospitals just refusing to take medicines to make myself right. Finally in December of 05 I moved home and started getting back on my meds. I took over raising my son again got a job and started supporting myself. In 08 my son and I even moved out for several months. Then in the summer of 09 I married my best friend in another town at the spur of the moment and took my son with me. Before, the whole time I was away from him I was depressed and suicidal. I hated life and did bad things to myself. But my parents always made me think my son would be better off with them. SO imagine how they felt when I took him and moved out. Now that was a year ago and now they want him for a week. But now I am married with 2 more kids. One is 3 and a step the other is 1. But the step child is really mine. He doesn't even know his real mom. Sooo... heres my problem. My parents agreed a couple of months ago that if we let them have my oldest for a weekend then they would take each of the other two for their own weekend. They only took my two boys the oldest and the youngest and now they are harassing me for my oldest again. (Never even took the middle child or offered.) Like voice mails every day. Like major stomach malfunctions (my pdoc took me off ALL anxiety meds) I dont even WANT to talk to my parents anymore. But they helped me raise my son. Even though they talked me into it every time they were probably right that he was better off with them. But when he goes down there he regresses to doing things that has taken me a year to curb. Like sleeping in the bed with the grown ups and lying and manipulating. I would let him go down there but they would let him do anything and everything he wanted. Is it okay to hand my parents off to my husband and let him deal with it? Although if I do that I know he will just say no. I want so desperately to make my parents happy. And I'm even a bit jealous about my oldest sons relationship with my parents. I don't know if this even makes sense. Just hoping for some advice on how to deal with my parents. Should I let him go again with a list of rules I know they wont follow, say no he cant go, or just wait because summer isnt over yet. sorry this is so long. im tormented by this.

PS My oldest has been grounded this ENTIRE summer for lying and stealing and lying again so we havent even had a chance to enjoy summer with him yet. I told him at the beginning of summer that if he kept lying he wasnt going to their house this summer. I mean I know thats pretty mean but its something he really wanted and obviously it wasnt worth not lying to get. So now I want to take him to the beach and let him play video games and go to the water park... you know fun stuff WITH US. *