I'm so sorry, I had grossly misunderstood where you were coming from in this.

Again, with the caveat that I'm not a doc & I would not presume to offer guidance, here's a possibility that occurs to me--just one perspective based on what you'd posted.

This began(?) as PPD: Estrogen, prolactin, oxytocin (?), to name a few do some pretty fantastic pirouettes during pregnancy, as I understand. If a pdoc were somehow unaware that a patient were expecting, reporting emotional lability and some very unusual appetite changes they'd say "Wow, you must be bipolar!" Following birth, there's another major shift in chemistry. This doesn't begin to take into account the life-altering stress of being a mom.

Please forgive statements of the obvious, I'm only trying to get from known factors to possible outcomes in order see if any of this rings as true.

So, there's not a doubt in my mind that post-partum depression is both very real and biologically-based, and like other normal biological processes has means and extremes from person to person. As an aside, when I had a growth spurt at 14 (grew about 5 inches in a year) and told the pediatrician I was depressed, he said something like "Depressed? Shoot, I'm surprised you're standing and talking." Then he asked me "Know what happens when you inject a gorilla with as much testosterone as you've got running through you at the moment?" I didn't. "They sit and shiver, and they'll attack anything that comes too close to them. That's adolescence. You'll be fine-- Just don't bite anyone."

So, getting back to post-partum depression - it's a model of care that psychiatry has set out that SSRIs (sertraline [zoloft] is one of these) are like 'taking aspirin for a headache.' I take aspirin when I've got a headache, actually it's excedrin (aspirin don't do a durn thing for me,) but you get my point-'Ta hell with natural, if it hurts, make it feel better!' And of course, what works for one or some, may not work for all. But, trouble with the headache analogy is that there's increasing doubt, even within psychiatry that serotonin's the real problem in depression - it seems it's more often associated with the anxiety/panic--> security/well-being axis (which might well explain why so many folks have the experience of agitation and anxiety on SSRIs,[or] experience a co-morbidity of panic disorder and are augmented with anti-anxiety meds [clonapin, xanax, etc.])

So, to be brief, I've heard of plenty of folks going on an SSRI, and feeling different. Different is absolutely a relief, even if it ain't a particularly positive different-irritability for instance: 'Well it beats the heck out of the crying fits and utter hell.'

So the SSRI Zoloft, not doing the trick like aspirin for a headache doesn't surprise me. Maybe this goes 'Okey dokey, aspirin didn't work, how about ibuprofen?' Wellbutrin's a really different animal, apples and oranges. That one blocks the reuptake of dopamine, in addition to its auxiliary effects on norepinepherine. Again, I'm not an expert here, but norepinepherine / dopamine / nicotinic receptors? (this stuff was crossmarketed as a smoking cessation aid) So, instead of interfering with the global level/transmission of serotonin, this time the pharmacologic answer might first-glance wise seem to make a little more sense. Dopamine's associated with pleasure / happiness, norepinepherine with energy, nicotinic with focus & well being. (Very broad strokes here, almost to the point of being nonsensical, but why not? Seems like it should hit closer to the mark of getting rid of depression...) Here's some of the stuff that *can happen to a smoker who takes it--keeping in mind now that these are people who haven't had prior history of mental illness: depression, anxiety, suicidality, irritability, violence, agitation, mania [they usually avoid actually saying 'mania' as a side effect, and stick to 'irritability and agitation,']--the capitulation to including that particular word 'mania' itself makes me absolutely shudder to think what prompted it. So, long story short, Zyban's been banned in a few countries. . .

Anyway, I won't keep going on and on about the individual meds. I'll just go with the progress you've listed:

so, following Lexapro, Zoloft comes back around and gets pushed up to. . . 150mg!? Good lord, attention problems/hyperactivity?? -- That might be enough to kill a small pony or accelerate a snail to mach 5! And here you are the whole time, still feeling lousy, and occasionally manic / irritable. (First time you'd mentioned mania.) I'm not surprised!

Bottom line is (again, totally non-professional opinion, all I have to go on is what you've told me & what I've experienced as a patient) -- I also understand and have felt the rush of relief that accompanies the diagnosis - a 'biologically-based illness with a chemical cure to restore the imbalance.' It is breathtaking, and the first time I'd heard it I just kept thinking "Thank God, something can be done." I've also experienced the cognitive dissonance of that faith in the cure/treatment, and their monumental inefficacy--what my mind and body have been through on the drugs.

I don't say this to be bleak, and don't get me wrong PPD is a very real well-documented condition as is Bipolar II, as is ADHD, and you're certainly not imagining these symptoms--they're absolutely real. I only suggest that at this point in time, as opposed to post-partum, the cause might be polypharmacia. It's certainly not your fault--this is prevalent.