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Jul 20, 2010, 12:16 PM
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Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 5,518
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((Shadowghost)) - my deepest condolences. 
You loved and cared for your brother with all your heart (kidney too), and you tried your very best. You are a human being and so was your brother - humans make mistakes. Even "perfect" human beings make mistakes once in a while, and it can sometimes lead to death. 
I get why you blame yourself for that one particular day, but it's not necessary to punish yourself. Overall, you were very good at being your brother's keeper. I'm sorry you couldn't be his savior too, but that's life - you are not God. Even if you had been extremely diligent in caring for your brother, it's possible it was just his time to go. Maybe he was meant to "forget" about the orange juice on that day, and maybe you were meant to hesitate from snatching the drink from his hand.
I'm quite certain your brother would not want this "unfortunate incident" to keep you from moving forward with your own life. You can honor your brother by living a good life. 
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