
Jul 20, 2010, 03:24 PM
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Member Since: Aug 2009
Location: in my head
Posts: 15,961
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zooropa
no. Earlier this morning I thought I would call her and say "why didn't you call me back?" but now it feels like...begging. I'm so sick of her phone issues. It's always something. She forgot it, she lost it, she was out of range, she lost her charger, on and on and on. I don't believe it any more. I believe she did get my message, because come ON. It's voice mail. I know I left the message, it's not that hard to get the message. I have never not gotten a message someone has left me. Besides the fact that she can see who called her. So if she accidentally deleted the message w/o listening to it, she could call me back and tell me that.
So, no, I haven't called her. I want to call right now and say WTF? But I am angry and I don't think it would go well. I have to go to an appointment now that concerns funding for me to go back to school in the fall, so I'm not going to upset myself by having a fight w/my T right before I go there.
Just really, really angry.   
I just want to add, before I head out the door, that I realized it's just easier to be angry. It feels activating and powerful. Being hurt just feels like being victimized all over again. Being angry, having this righteous indignation, it feels better than being a door mat. Which is why I won't call her and say "why didn't you call me?". Because that's not something a powerful person would do, that's something that someone begging for table scraps of attention would do, and I'm sick of being that person.
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wow zoo this sounds so empowering how you are seeing your anger right now.i never thought of looking at the anger i feel as better then feeling like a door mat.kind of cool although i cant say feeling that anger must be any easier for you and i am so sorry your T is acting the way she is.to be working as hard as you are on your issues cant be easy at all and you need her more then ever to be able to continue i hope you will be able to express your anger next time you see her or maybe send her an e mail
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