Acqpl,
I haven't told anyone. It's horrible torture to be so unstrusting to my own parents but I just CAN'T.
Don't be like me! I know I need help, I know I should ask. I'm just too scared for this!!! I'm petrified of someone who knows better than me, who knows what's going on in my head.

But if I don't I'm going to SI....I can't stop!

Go get help! Please! I know you can do this, being alone isn't good enough anymore. You need someone else there to help you through it. That's what T's are there for, I've had them before, and they have helped immensly!
Now I'm on my own though.