Ebpm - I know how it feels to be alone, however as wolfsong said, we are all here to listen and support you. You can feel safe talking to us. sometimes its easier to talk to complete strangers. Its why i can actually talk on here because no-one knows who i actually am.
update on my situ - i nearly held it together today untill i genuinely decided to have quite a spectacular stack will wandering in the woods and loads of old ones opened, this really sucks. And the sight of it just completely took me out of it for a good few hours. Bad bad times. I'll live though.