Awww, Lauru... If there were any way I could reach through this screen and offer you a pull out of this, I would. Know what it is to be lost in one's own mind and consumed with deceptive thoughts. I'm also confident in the knowledge that you *do* know better than to have your thoughts draw you into their web. Strength is what I am fervently wishing you right now and sending you all good thoughts. Please keep us posted, ok?