estee1

((((((((((((((estee)))))))))))))))

You are 100% correct, it is the illness and has nothing to do with "reality". I know you feel so down right now, and that is part of the illness, but you also feel like it will never get any better, and that is part of the illness too. If you weren't effected by depression, you would know that you can't predict the future, help may be right around the corner... but no matter how much we "know" that, the depression will not let us believe it. So please hang on to that knowledge that this is an illness, and that it lies to you, and that it can be treated.

Are you seeing a doctor and therapist? I believe the three most important things are medications and therapy... it can take a long time to find the correct meds that will work for you, and a proper doctor and T will help you to understand this... and a T will help you through the rough times, and once the meds take effect will help you develop the skills to understand the illness and take care of yourself.

The third thing is a support group. Do you have people around that you can trust to talk to? A lot of us don't, and a lot of us do but think that we don't... again that is the depression talking, causing us to isolate ourselves, which of course makes the situation even worse.

Try to find a support group in your area. These are usually free. Your doctor or T may have a list or you can search on the internet. I you don't feel comfortable in a support group, try to find another. I was in three different groups before I found one that "fit my personality". In a support group you can interact with people who understand. It makes it easier to talk. You can get suggestions, feedback and support from others. And I think starting off with strangers that have a common bond gets you past the "isolation" wall that we may have already set up with our friends and family. You can go and talk as much or as little as you want. Sometimes just sitting and listening can be comforting.

And come here often. This place offers all of the things mentioned above, and is available 24 hours a day for times when you are feeling particularly bad. I still like to have an IRL support group because there is no substitute for being around real people. But this place is an awesome resource and sometimes it is easier to talk to "faceless" people if you are having trouble getting started in a group.