(((((((( need2be me ))))))))))
It sounds like you are on the right road now, I know a month to wait can seem like an awful long time but it will come and then you can get the therapy that you are needing.
In wanting to be the victim you were crying out for help, it's good that you recognise this and now you are wanting to be the rescuer. Being the 'rescuer' can be very stressful and you will need to be strong emotionally.
Keep talking here.
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Pegasus
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“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree, it will live it's whole life believing that it is stupid.” - Albert Einstein