like you i sway back and forth between givin a **** and being too codependent. i have to admit; from the 20 yrs ago of my initial diagnosis to noe. having therapy has helped alot. its all so complicated for me and wound up in my childhood issues as well as my BP and other two diagnosis of anxiety and PTSD AND recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction. i am a therapist's wet dream. thats just for me. i wish you well in getting the answers you seek from the great people here.