Ok... here goes...

When my daughter was around 1 yr old, I shared a conversation with my then MIL that I had with a school friend. The friend told me that she would stick needles in her boy's tongue when he stuck it out at her or sassed her. She also would put a clothes pin, the ones with the spring, on his tongue. I repeated this to my MIL in shock and disgust.

Years later, when my daughter was in high school, she went to spend a weekend with her grandmother (my MIL). The woman told my daughter that *I* had done that to her, my daughter! My daughter didn't believe her, thank God!

We asked my daughter's youth minister from church about forgiving and my daughter seeing her grandmother again. I didn't want her to see her again. The youth minister explained "forgiveness" to me this way... You can forgive to release yourself from the anger and negative feelins, but you DON'T forget. If you "forget," you put yourself in harm's way again. Forgiving isn't forgetting! He suggested that if my daughter wanted to visit her grandmother again, that my daughter should tell her to not speak about me to her... or she could simply stay away from her when alone.

My daughter chose to not go visit her grandmother unless I, her step-dad (Jerry) or her uncle were with her. She knew her grandmother wouldn't "tell stories" about me in company. As it turned out, my daughter never went back to visit and as far as I know, she didn't hold a grudge against her grandmother, either.

In short, don't hold a grudge, but don't put yourself in harms way again, either.

Does that help any, FuzzyBaby??