"We have done marriage counseling. It didn't help, and it's too expensive. We went to three different counselors, actually."

"He won't read marriage books. He has ADHD and he just doesn't like to read."

You said that you both went to three different marriage counselors, were you even doing what they suggested? and if so, it obviously wasnt for very long.

And you stated he wont read books, what about you? put that energy into changing you. That is the only thing you can control. If you work on you and show him consistent behavior, maybe he will come around.

He may just be tired of your lip service and wants to see some real, concrete change. You guys have a lot of years together. I wish you the best.