Thanks, lost. The intellectual part of me feels that if my session had gone as I hoped, it would have been unhealthy for me. What I want is to get that "fix" I always want it therapy, what my former T did not want to give me. Since it was easy to talk about what I did today, I didn't feel the intensity. T even said "I'm just a person like you." At least I remember something vaguely like that. On the one hand, I like to feel we're equal; on the other hand, the part of me who wants that "fix" feels unsatisfied. Maybe I shouldn't call it a fix. I just want to feel the deep, intimate connection all of the time, and that's impossible.

I just wonder if my T is overly optimistic. If 15 years of therapy hasn't solved this attachment problem, why will this time be different? I know EMDR is a powerful technique, but so far it's just getting me to my original issues. I know I have to trust my T and give it some more time. It's hard to do that, especially when this transference stuff just about "kills me."