Somewhere you are going to have to realize that therapy should be about YOU, not about your t. You have this unrealistic expectation of how therapy should make you feel every time, but you need to see that it isn't about how therapy makes you feel; it needs to be about how YOU make you feel. No one or no thing can make you feel anything; you choose the feelings for yourself. You say here that you will not get those good feelings from others in real life. That's true. And you will not get them from your t either. You have to find them for yourself. Otherwise you're right, it's like trying to get a "fix"; it's never going to be good enough because it will never be enough. Turn your focus inward.