rest is probably a good idea tho I slept the clock round last night so you would think I had had enough rest. Maybe not. It scares me all that needs doing and I start feeling like I would ahve to be superwoman to do it all and I can't. I really want to crawl into a corner right now and cry and tell everyone I just can't do what you want me to, I just can't do it any more. To be off work, to be at home, to have other people look after me, that is so much what I long for but it ain't gonna happen. Maybe I am on my way to meltdown I just don't know any more but I amtyping and huge speed and not really sure that what I am typing makes any sense any more maybe it is just meltdown time.