Have you thought about taking her with you to talk to a therapist? Maybe if you are open and honest with her there, in a benign atmosphere, she could ask questions of you and the therapist. This may help her understand you and your issues better.
I would love my partner to go with me to talk but she won't. I think it would really help our relationship.
Just a thought
I really hope things get better. From experience, it's really important to have someone there for support.