Thanks, Melba. T keeps telling me it takes time. She puts that in every email. I thought that since I've had so much therapy already, this would move quickly. But it hasn't, and I'm still repeating my pattern of attachment. I would trust the process except that 15 years of therapy hasn't helped yet, so I'm a bit wary. I don't want to "want" my Ts the way I do.

Parts of me enjoy life outside of therapy; it's just these parts that want to stay with T forever that take over. T says "the parts are running the show." She wants to help me change that. I hope she can, because the pain of my feelings for my Ts (all of them) has been too much to handle any more. All I did was replace one T for another. I can't live like that anymore. It hurts too much.