Yes, I can leave a message for my T, although I haven't done so in the past 9 months. A part of me is afraid too. Like other PC friends, I don't want to appear too needy. Plus, I am hyper-sensitive to feelings of rejection lately, and I don't want to put myself in that place. I guess you could say, I am protecting myself from possibly being hurt again.

As for "that" place, I am not sure it was PTSD related, maybe it was? He has moved out of town. When I saw him today, I felt extreme sadness, humiliation, shame. I didn't want to FEEL anything, I tried to numb myself, to be stoic in front of my daughter. I quietly fought the anxety and grief until I was by myself and then I could no longer contain it. I pray that someday these feelings will subside. Thank you for your responses. It's good to have a place to come and get support during times when I feel alone.