Zenobia, I think you sort of helped me grasp some of it, at least as far as where you mention " I think it may have been a subconcious attempt to make myself aware of my past."

I guess I feel if there was an abusive childhood I would wonder why anyone would want to "relive" it, sort of like the way they say children who were molested, in turn molest children, I guess I can't quite see how that is connected or why that would be the case. Ditto for someone who was sexually abused turning to prostitution later, it just doesn't make any logical sense to me, to essentially "relive" the terrible abuse. Seems to me one would want to be the furthest away from that. Obviously it's all a lot more complicated than it seems on the surface.