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((((shadowlight))))
I hope you are able to get a therapist and work through this. EMDR is a therapy that helped me with my childhood abuse; can be hairy when you're in it but at least it brings out things that are pushed down so you protect yourself from them...
I wish you the best and I hope you achieve freedom from the dreams and nightmares
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Peace, the deep imperturbable peace is right there within you, quieten the mind and slow the heart and breathe...breathe in the perfume of the peace rose and allow it to spread throughout your mind body and senses...it can only benefit you and those you care about...I care about you
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