(((((((((((((WePow)))))))))))))))

I used to dream all kinds of crazy things about my T. I remember vividly that I had a dream where I went to see him on the weekend, and he looked TOTALLY different than he does during the week - like he wasn't the same person he was presenting to me. I had a dream where I was sitting in session and a couple came in and since T (in my dream) liked doing couples therapy more than individual, he just ignored me sitting there in his office and starting working with them instead. Tons and tons of dreams.

I had one dream that I can't remember clearly right now (but I could probably find in OLD e-mails to him) where he was a truck driver....I think the dream had something to do with him leaving me, and not coming back. That was the dream that shook up my trust the most. I woke up REALLY feeling like I couldn't trust him anymore. We talked about the dream, and he respected how I felt, while reminding me that he wasn't going anywhere and that he was committed to working with me.

All I could do was just keep showing up, week after week after week, whether I felt connected or scared or loving or distrustful or angry or confused or eager to work. And slowly, slowly over time, T has shown me that it really is safe to trust him. For me, ONLY time could prove that to me....I've had plenty of people in my life tell me to trust them only to hurt me, badly. T has proven to me, time and time again, that it's really okay.

Just keep showing up, WePow. You're working your way through it, even in this moment.